The Letters Collection
by Nicole-Cherre
Summary: Read Serina's personal thoughts in her letters to various people, watch her grow and change.
1. Letters to Heaven

The Letters Collection Letters to Heaven  
  
Dearest Papa, I know you are missing a great deal where you are so I'm sending these letters to heaven for you. Mother reminds me every day that you are watching over us but I still wish to relay my feelings and thoughts to you of which you mightn't be able to see in my mind. First, please do not be angry with me for my skipping history lessons today. It could not be helped, that hour was the only one where I could go down to earth and spy on that handsome prince- Please, Papa, do not be angry that I have fallen in love with a Terran. If you could see him you would realize how kind and just and regal he truly is. It is my duty as the princess and heir to the moon kingdom to protect the blue planet and he only firms resolve and enthusiasm to do so. Besides, he's 'drop dead gorgeous' according to the princess of Venus, Minaryse. One of these days I'll have the courage to speak with him, my Endymion. You will see me happiest on that day, Papa.  
  
Love always, Your little rabbit, Serenity  
  
Dearest Papa, You may have noticed Endymion and I are spending more time together. My *precious* guardian Scouts have discovered our secret rendezvous and are aiding us in our ventures, however, Minaryse is still against it. I do not believe Mother knows about him yet though how she could possibly miss all the new intrigue in her court and mine is beyond my comprehension. I wonder if she suspects . . . You would tell me surely, Papa? You must all ready know from mother's prayers of the mysterious attacks out near Pluto. Mother's Scout of Pluto has left her post for the first time in this millennium to aid Mother. I fear Alatristina will leave me to replace her as the Guardian of Time. I do not believe I could bear losing my dear friend to the mists of time. I would nary ever see her again. Endymion is unsettled by the news. His fair blue planet grows ever more restless with each year. I do not know how to help him, Papa. Lend me strength and send me a solution. I have great need of your counsel.  
  
Love always. Your little rabbit, Serenity  
  
Dearest Papa, Forgive me for not writing more often, you well know the reasons if you are watching what is happening to your kingdom, Papa. I fear this will be my last letter for a long while. The insurrection on Endy's planet grows worse daily now that they have a mascot. We actually knew her, Beryl, and now she leads her forces against us. Papa, I do not know what to do. Endy is torn, his people demand he denounce the white moon and his heart demands that he protect me. We are truly soul-bonded, I feel his every fear and hope. I know he will remain by my side, however, he must go against his own world. I wish more than ever that you were here, Papa. Tomorrow is my sixteenth birthday ball. Endy cannot attend; this, the most important day of my life second only to my coronation. With the events transpiring- I do not know what to expect in the future, Mother's and my own Scouts are on constant guard. How can I be happy when the peace of the Silver Millennium is being shattered? As I pray to you, Papa, pray for us. Maybe we will be seeing each other sooner than we thought.  
  
Love always, Your little rabbit, Serenity  
  
"My little rabbit, why do you write these letters?"  
  
"Luna said if I wrote everything down in a letter, she could send them to heaven so Papa could read them. You said he was in heaven- he didn't leave did he?" A young Serenity gazed up at her mother with the innocence of a child though she was nearly sixteen.  
  
'She may never understand mortality. What will she do when she realizes her dearest Endymion will someday grow old and die like her father?' The Lunari people were immortal, death rarely touched the moon and had only once struck Serenity's daughter in the heart . . . when her father died.  
  
"No, Serenity, he will always be in heaven except when he stands beside you. What a sweet idea, I shall have to commend Luna for her suggestion." Queen Serenity smiled softly, her eyes weary and lightly pained. She gently cupped her daughter's chin and kissed her forehead, her golden crescent moon glimmered contentedly. "Now go on, and keep writing." The princess grinned and twirled on heel, running for her bedroom, or the gardens, or where ever it was she hid these days. "And don't run, Serenity!" 


	2. Letters to the Moon

Letters to the Moon  
  
Dear Mommy, Today was the first day of school. I don't like it. It's fun and I made lots of friends but there are rules and evil people called teachers and they tried to make me do things like 'add' and write letters. I know this stuff all ready! I just want to play and they won't let me. I have to go again tomorrow but I get to see Nikki again so I don't care. Auntie Puu's here so I better go do my homework. I get to draw pretty pictures! I'll send you some when I'm done, okay? I love you, Mama! Love always, Your baby, Bunny  
  
Dear Mommy, My other mama left with Papa today for the hospital. They told me I was going to be a big sister now. I've never had a little brother or sister before. I'm very happy but I miss them and it makes me miss you more than everything in the moon and earth. I wish I could be with you but I don't want to leave my new family. Auntie Puu, Alatristina, is taking me to see Mama soon. I love you! Love always, Your baby, Bunny  
  
Dear Mommy, Forget what I said before. I don't like being a big sister anymore. He's noisy and never sleeps and eats ALL the time and my mama and papa are always with him and not me. They say I'm big enough to take care of myself but I don't wanna. I'm left in my room to play with Puu and my pretty crystal. When Mama needs to sleep and I use my crystal to sing baby Sammy asleep. I hope that's okay. I miss you and my friends, Mommy. When I'm big enough, I'm gonna go find them. And Luna and Artemis too, I haven't seen them and they should be with me too. I don't know how to get these letters to you any other way. I hope you find them if I just leave them at the Pillar of Prayer. You were always there at home. Love you, Mommy! Love always, Your baby, Bunny  
  
Dear Mommy, Something terrible has happened. I won't be able to write you for a long time. Auntie Puu came to visit me tonight. She said I won't see her again and that I can't go find my friends and I have to forget about being me! I have to make myself grow up not remembering you or the moon, or anyone! I don't wanna, Mommy, I don't want to forget you, never ever! But I don't have a choice. Puu says it's to keep my new family safe and my friends. She controls time and you said above all else, listen to the Scout of Time. She does know best, Mommy. But I'll hate growing up someone else. I'll always know that I'm missing someone, there will be a blank, erased spot in my heart where the real me should be. I'll miss you more than ever, Mommy. Good night. Love always, Your baby, Bunny  
  
"Serina, why do you keep writing these silly letters?" Ilene asked her sleeping daughter. The child murmured, lost in her dream world of princesses and castles in the sky.  
  
Ilene shook her head. She couldn't understand why a girl as smart as her child could write so many letters to an imaginary friend. All these daydreams and fantasies, they were a waste of time, but some sounded so sweet . . . And then this last one, it was far too odd- what if something had really happened to her daughter? She made this pretend life sound so real. Too real for a four-year-old.  
  
"What would I do if anything ever happened to you, my little bunny." She had noticed a sudden change in her daughter's manner recently, her personality was just a little different. She was not so serious and gloomy and responsible. She seemed like a normal little girl now. She wondered vaguely, what she had lost.  
  
Ilene had long figured out that the letters addressed to 'Mommy' were not really to her. Serina wrote as if in a diary or journal, to someone else- she called Mommy . . . 


	3. Love Always, Serenity

Love Always, Serenity  
  
Dearest Mother, I've never forgotten you, you were always in my heart, but today I met Luna for the first time in a thousand years. Literally! She sparked some remembrance of my past life with you on the moon. Remind me to tell the main computer on the moon to update those cryos-chambers, Luna's forgotten most of her memory! She's looking for the Moon Princess and says that I'm Sailor Moon! Me! A Scout! It's an old story but proven true, I can transform. Now that I remember, I can't wait to find my Scouts! My bestest friends! I know I've seen Amila- Ami now- and she's still so smart! And you might not know of her, I know you're watching over me from heaven, or the moon, being that to me, they are one and the same, but I think Minaryse is the Sailor V character from movies! V could be for Venus, right? And the white cat she's always with? Gotta be Artemis! All right, don't take offense, Mother, but I kinda hope you're not watching me anymore. I'll send my letters to the moon but don't get to know your daughter in this incarnation. She's terrible. If I was refined and delicate and proper then, a thousand years has worn the formality right out of my bones. Take my word for it, you won't be proud of who I am now. But now that I'm remembering my past, I hope I'll become more like you soon. Now to find Endymion . . .  
  
Love always, Your little princess, Bunny Serenity  
  
Dearest Mother, You must have seen this coming. I met my daughter today. Rini, Serina, Neo-Princess Serenity of the earth and moon. In a thousand years, Darien and I will have rebuilt a kingdom like the Silver Millennium and our daughter, Rini, will be born on my twenty-first birthday. Mother, I know this should be a joyous revelation, I should be ecstatic to know this of our future but, not only does thoughts of the future give me a terrible feeling- I had a horrible premonition the other night, I'll right it down later. It's too disturbing to think of now. Anyway, knowing what I have to do in the future, knowing I have no choice- I love Rini too much to change a single moment of what must come to pass- But, Mother, I had such dreams for the future. Most important to me is marrying Darien, and having a family someday with him. But, not so soon. I wanted to see the world. Darien was to show me his beautiful planet. I wanted to go to school, to college, to excel and prove Miss H and Reianna wrong, to show Amila what I really can do and to be an excellent daughter to my family here. I wanted to teach children and save people's lives, and become a model or singer with Minaryse, or go into a baking business with Litanya. But, now, knowing what the future holds for me- how can I? It's all planned and set out. Darien and I will be so busy getting married, creating our kingdom, and- children- that I will never leave our castle again after she is born. I know this and it hurts me, so much. Mother, will Rini ever understand what dreams I've given up for her? I hope, in her teenage years when I know she will get fed up with me, that she will remember all the things I wanted to be and do and . . . cannot because I love her too much. In this letter, to you and the moon, Mother, I lay my dreams. Keep them safe for me, that I may return to see them again someday.  
  
Love always, Bunny Serenity  
  
Oh, Mother! If I thought setting dreams aside was painful, Darien shattering my only dream left is hundred times worse! Oh, Mama, he says he doesn't love me anymore, that his feelings have changed- But I know that can't be true, it can't be so long as Rini is alive, she's our daughter. Mama, I can't take it, I can't handle all this! I would give anything to just disappear off this earth forever, Mother, take me back to the moon, I beg of you! Rini will never exist if Darien doesn't love me, I will not wish to exist any longer once this fact is proven to me but- but I just can't believe it, Mama. I won't believe it! Bunny  
  
Dear Mother, Every day seems to grow worse. I thought time healed all wounds? Each day my heart falls deeper away from the sunlight, the ache in my chest splits more and more. I see only darkness in my dreams of the future. I'm so sorry, I should have never said I regretted Rini being born- I'm so sorry! I would give anything to have that future now! Please, if you have any power left, Mother, don't let this be true. Don't let Rini disappear and Darien leave me forever, please, Mama. The battles grow worse and life darker and heavier. My friends don't know what to do, Luna is going crazy, and my mom doesn't understand. I have no one to confide in, Mother. Except you, and you are only the recipient of a letter sent to the memory of the moon. I must go, my daughter calls me. I know how much you loved me, Mother, and I hope Rini knows that I love her just as much.  
  
Love always, Bunny Serenity  
  
Ilene walked in, a pile of papers in her hand. The sheets were nearly yellow with age, the inch-wide rule reminded Serina of kindergarten; the huge, childish handwriting was definitely a four-year-old Serina's.  
  
"Serina, these are yours." Ilene handed half the stack to her daughter rather curtly. Stunned, she took them, dropping them on her desk to read. She only picked up the first one and the one on the bottom. 'Dear Mommy, today was the first day of school. I don't like it. It's fun and I made lots of friends but there are rules and evil people called teachers and they tried to make me do things like 'add' and write letters-' 'Dear Mommy, something terrible has happened. I won't be able to write you for a long time. Auntie Puu came to visit me tonight. She said I won't see her again and that I can't go find my friends and I have to forget about being me-' Serina's eyes anxiously glanced up to her mother's but she refused to meet her gaze. The older woman stared up at the ceiling, her eyes glittering with memories as she held the rest of the papers close to her chest.  
  
"You were always exceptionally bright for your age. I thought these letters were proof- at three and four you could write complete sentences, whole letters, with perfect spelling. The only reason your handwriting was so poor was because the pencils were too big for your tiny hands." Ilene almost choked on her half-laugh, memories of her little girl now gone so long ago in the past. "But you always wrote of things you told me anyway, you kept these letters like a diary, letters to an imaginary friend, not to me. But, they were always addressed to 'Mommy' . . ."  
  
Frozen, tears creeping into her eyes to see her mom so sad and frightened of what had happened to make her mother like this, Serina didn't have enough breath to barely whisper. She quickly tried to stand- "Mama . . ."  
  
"And now these letters too." Ilene's brown eyes snapped down to her eldest child's, thrusting the newer papers in front of her. "You write of impossible things as if they were reality happening now, not the daydreams of teenage girl. These are terrible things you should never have imagined. But this isn't an imaginary friend, is it? These were letters to heaven, letters to 'the moon'. To someone I don't really know exists or not. But I don't think- I- Your- you're not really my daughter."  
  
Serina's world came crashing down; she couldn't reach her mother fast enough as she merely released the new letters into her care. "You're a princess. From a long ago fairy tale, your mother was a queen, and all these horrible things really _did_ happen. You're a Sailor Scout too. One of the those poor little girls who have to run around the city at ungodly hours fighting those evil creatures- I don't know *who* you are . . . You can't be my little girl anymore . . . I never knew- you *died*, and I *never knew*!"  
  
"Mom," Serina didn't know what to say or do. She dropped the letters, all ready knowing what they were- she'd written often in the last year- and hugged her mother as tight as she could. Ilene tried to push her away but she was crying so hard it was a futile effort but it got Serina started too. All Serina could think was about how her mother _knew_- knew *everything*! And this was the first time she mentioned it? How long had she known? 'How did she find out? How did she find these? Those *stupid* letters!' When Serina thought of all the things she'd written down, so many personal things she'd never wanted anyone to know- "Mama, I'm *so* sorry . . ."  
  
"There's nothing to be sorry about. You can't help who you are- It's like the last fifteen years were a lie . . ."  
  
"No, not a lie, just a- a play, a dream that's not quite real. But that's how I felt when I found out, when I remembered and Luna said I couldn't say anything, I couldn't tell anyone, even you. I knew you'd worry or the bad guys would try to hurt you. But I *am* your daughter, you and dad are my parents and Sammy's my brother. It's kinda like you adopted me before I was born, you're my family now."  
  
"And all that's happened to you this year?" Ilene pulled away and searched her daughter's eyes. The unidentified horror and pain there made her frown, her brow creasing with growing agony. Her daughter should never have felt such intense emotions, not now, when she was so young, not anything that would make her grow up so fast!  
  
She'd fallen in love, fought battles, gotten hurt, gotten her friends hurt, even *DIED*! She'd been helpless in attacks and the only reason they'd won them, she'd seen the future, she'd lost her boyfriend so many times and now it might seem forever but- she had a daughter . . . There was so much her little girl had been dealing with, struggling through in the past year- her whole *life* and longer- and she'd never even had a clue. She'd blamed it on school and her failed relationship with her boyfriend- she could never get Serina to talk about it, but she always wrote it down in those letters . . .  
  
"It's all true. Everything you read, from the Scouts and battles, to Darien, Rini, and my being the Moon Princess." Serina looked away, moving to her bed to sit down. "Yes, I died, once, but when I wished to return, it was to you. To you and my friends and the ordinary life I loved so much. It's just- that couldn't last forever . . . My destiny is different and this world needs me, it needs all of us to protect it from the people who want it." Serina looked up. "Can you understand that?"  
  
"I can, but I don't want you to fight anymore." Ilene stepped over and sat next to her on the bed.  
  
Serina grimaced- somehow she _knew_ *that* was coming. But that didn't mean she knew how to respond. "I don't have a choice, Mom, but don't worry. I'm always careful. The Scouts and Darien are there just to protect me-"  
  
"But they can't always- When you lost that one time-"  
  
"But I came back, I'll always come back for you, Mom." She hugged her, her warm tears slowly stopping, her mother's still glistening in her eyes.  
  
"You don't have confide just in your letters now." She whispered softly. "I'll be here too. I love you, my little princess." 


End file.
